♥ This post features my Read to Me feature. Look for the ® by post titles where this feature is present. Press play & enjoy! ♥
I don't know about you, but being a woman I find that I can experience the worst mood swings. This is an issue that has become more apparent as of late. I am not sure what has gotten my emotions in a hissy but I find my lack of patience to be slightly concerning. Oh sure, I can blame it on the typical culprits: "The heat is getting to me," or, "My sinuses are creating the illusion that my head is being pounded by a disgruntled construction worker." At the end of the day the fact is, I have little to no tolerance recently. Sure these reasons are true -- I do feel like my skull is being crushed by the post pollen pressure and yes, this heat is making me wonder if I would be better off living in an igloo -- but are these valid excuses for my fresh diagnosis of bullshit intolerance?
I took increasing notice of this during this last week. There were literally points where I was living as though I were playing an impromptu game of Bullshit where society had failed to get the memo (because I never sent it, I must add). I felt as though I was practically yelling, "Bullshit!" at the slightest sign of ingenuous activity. Not my finest... Typically I am the most bubbly, perky, non-confrontational person you will ever encounter, so I find that once my switch is flipped, it prompts bright-eyed looks of astonishment and/or rapid blinking as if blindsided by my sudden change in demeanor. I can see the look of shock written all over their faces while imaging their inner dialogue to be something along the lines of, "Why has she misplaced items in certain personal areas they do not belong? When is she going to see a doctor about having it/them removed?" Seems about right.
I find this social reaction to be a tad bit disheartening, like society expects women to hold a certain impenetrable air of poise that does not favor the willful. "Act like a lady," they say. "Mind your Ps and Qs," they instill. What the hell is that supposed to mean anyway?!? While at the same time I hear things like, "Boys will be boys." Are they for real with this crap?!? Maybe this all stems from being raised as the only girl in a house full of boys (but that is a whole other can of worms that will just have to wait until another day).
It's not that I want to feel this way. In fact, that is probably the worst part of it all! I feel as though I am experiencing a cerebral flu. You know, the condition where you have word vomit that comes spilling uncontrollably out of your pie hole only to leave you feeling exhausted with a nasty taste in your mouth afterwards? Oh sure, you feel better while it's happening -- like the toxins are just draining out of your system -- but that feeling of relief is usually short lived and soon replaced by an empty guilt. Part of me wonders if current life scenarios are putting an unnecessary pressure on me to be continuously optimistic. Or do I just have unrealistic expectations for myself to be "that" person at all times? Is this ever-increasing pressure to be "perfect" based off of society's expectations for us? When will we feel that being unreasonable is just a reasonable human trait? Or are we (especially as women) dooming ourselves to a reality where we cannot be real?
Love & Lollies...
♥lets tweet ♥like on facebook ♥follow on bloglovin