Don't trust them...

6 reasons why you shouldn't trust your fireplace...

1.  They spit in your face...

You should never trust anything or anyone who would spit in your face when you open their door just to make sure they are ok!  Can you imagine?  "Hey Julie are you okay?"  Spit-oooie "Yes, now close my door"!  Classy...

2.  They will bite the hand that feeds them...

And I have evidence to back this up!  Please note giant welt to victim A (me) across right wrist.  The defendant tries to plead not guilty due to location not being "hand" as stated but we know... we know...

3.  They are greedy...

They are just never satisfied!  They are constantly demanding more and if you do not give them what they want they will leave you out in the cold! 

 4. They can be defeated by water...

As we know anything or anyone that parishes by being doused with water is wicked. We have stories and movies to prove it!

5.  They're inconsiderate smokers...

So you smoke?  It's your choice... but do you have to blow it in my face?  I'll I want to is to stand by you and feel the warmth of your presence but you just had to go there!  And just in case that wasn't bad enough you have to fill my whole house with it?  How rude!

6.  They are total bums...

You provide them free food, room, and board and they have the nerve to make you work for what you are owned!  Begging and pleading for them to start working so that you may live comfortably in your own home.  Talk about giving someone the cold shoulder!

So there you have it!  Don't trust them for one second or they will burn you!  Time to go nurse my wounds and continue to shoot glares at my disrespectful fireplace.  Is it summer yet?

Love & Lollies...

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3 comments:

  1. Haha, this gave me a good laugh. You're so cute. I'll be sure to remember this when I have a fire.

    -Desiree
    xhttp://deerlittlemysteries.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  2. I was holding out to be GFC 400, but couldn't wait. Found your blog through FBL on Facebook and really glad I did. It made me crave cake related goods for quite a while, but I am over that now: I found some popcorn!

    Looking forward to reading some more,

    Rosie (http://craftbotics.blogspot.com)

    ReplyDelete
  3. hahahaha funny!

    I always have to beg my printer and Xbox to work, too, but they are grandpas.:P

    ReplyDelete

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